Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Monday, December 10, 2018
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Getting back on the wagon
Getting through a divorce is never easy. Even when the relationship was toxic, it always takes time to move on. Don’t be hard on yourself for taking too long to get back on the dating wagon.
The unfortunate reality out there is that even when you do decide to give love another chance it is still pretty hard. A lot has changed in the world of dating and romance, and it may take you a while to adjust. However, with a little work and open-mindedness, you should be able to get back your groove and start your journey to finding new love. Here are a few tips that will help.
How to start dating again
Get over your ex
You cannot move forward until you let go of your former spouse. The reason for this is the fact that most divorcees tend to compare their new partners with their former ones unwittingly. Comparing is always unhealthy and will prevent you from truly appreciating what the new prospects have to offer.
Take time to heal
In addition to releasing your former partner, you need to release the relationship. Let go of all the memories whether good or bad. Letting go means that you will have to take time to heal and mourn the loss of your emotional investment. Going through the emotions ensures that you do not go into your next relationship with any baggage. It is also important to remember the importance of giving yourself enough time to get over everything completely.
… but don’t wait too long
While it is important to give yourself the time, you should never wait too long to start dating again after a relationship. There is no fixed period for you to wait for six months to a year should be enough for you to be ready to try again. Any later and you run the risk of getting too comfortable in your solitude and not wanting to give anyone a chance.
Figure out what you are looking for
Once you consider yourself ready to start dating again you need to figure out exactly what it is you want. There are millions of singles out there, and if you do not narrow your search, then the endless options will become a living nightmare. Consider your experiences with your former spouse here to make sure that you do not end up making the same mistakes again.
Try online dating
So you got over your ex, healed from the relationship wounds and figured out a game plan. What’s next? Do you go up to the street and start talking to random strangers? How do people do it these days?
The answer to these questions can be summed up in two words – online dating.
Online dating allows you to find new love in a fast, convenient and low-pressure environment. It is exactly what a fresh divorcee needs and gives you a great perspective on what is available out there regarding relationship prospects.
Open yourself up to matchmaking by friends
In addition to online dating, you could get a few friends to help out by hooking you up with singles they know. Asking for help works because friends and family know you well enough to know what you would like. So give them a chance.
Be honest about your past and your expectations
Once you have found someone that you like, it is important that you are honest about the failed marriage. Once they earn your trust, you need to make sure that you give the full story. It is particularly important that you own up to your part in the failure if you were in any way responsible. Taking responsibility makes you seem more trustworthy and is a great sign that you learned and grew from the experience.
Do not rush into anything
Do not be in a hurry to replace that which you lost. Good things take time to build, and that includes rebound love. Therefore, do not be too quick to fall in love simply because someone showed you the attention you haven’t received in a while.
With these eight tips, it will be pretty easy for you to start successfully dating after your divorce. You may not find someone right away or get a relationship that matches what you had. However, if you are patient and positive good things will come your way. So let go of your baggage and put yourself out there again. Your next prince or princess charming awaits.
Monday, November 5, 2018
Online dating can be tricky, and you need to play your cards right if you want to get anything out of the experience. There are many variables involved in determining your likelihood of online dating success. It isn’t just about looking good and having killer charm. Potential daters consider a lot of other things when making that decision on whether or not to invest in the relationship.
One of the most important of these factors is your line of work. Now don’t go jumping into conclusions that everyone on dating sites is a gold digger looking for a wealthy partner. People with dishonest intentions aren’t the reason your job title is so important. Below is more information on why people pay attention to this detail and what jobs will get you far in the online dating scene.
Why does what you do matter?
People looking for love online have very little information to go on when deciding who to express interest in. Your line of work offers unique insight that makes this choice a whole lot easier. Below are 3 of the main things that people can tell about you from your job title.
Income and lifestyle
Your job title may not be a copy of your yearly income report, but it is as close as strangers get to figuring out how much you make. Income is important for most people looking to settle as financial stability is considered a major positive selling point. However, it is important to note that this isn’t always an accurate indicator. I mean in a day and age where the internet runs everything you can have a simple entrepreneur or artist making way more than people in mainstream careers.
Unique talents and skills
If you are artistic, people-oriented or gifted in any other way, it usually shows regarding your preferred line of work. Sharing this information allows potential online partners to get a rough idea of what makes you happy and what you are generally good at. Note that only applies if you are in a line of work that you enjoy and are passionate about.
How much time you have on your hands
Online daters also consider your job title to determine availability. If you work as a pilot, it shows you are smart and probably well off, but it means that physical meetups may be few and far between. This aspect of your job title will matter mainly to people who truly value spending not only quality but also quantity time with their partners.
Ten job titles that could get you a date
It is pretty clear so far that the reasons why your job title is such a big deal are pretty reasonable. With that, here are five professions for girls and guys each that typically garner more interest.
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As a woman
Women who run their own businesses are hot commodities in the online dating universe. It shows that you are strong, independent and capable of handling hard times. So whether you run a multinational organization or a homemade cupcake business, you need to be proud of that title. It just might catch you your prince charming.
It should come as no surprise that models get a lot of attention on online dating sites. In a system based mainly on initial attraction, this title validates your potential suitor’s choice.
Most healthcare professions
Healthcare professionals mainly include nurses, therapists, doctors, and physical therapists. These careers above all else are an indicator of high IQ which is an attractive quality in the online dating scene. They also indicate a desire to take care of others which is also a great selling point for women.
PR and communications
This title is popular with people interested in the more outspoken and outgoing personality types. They are instantly drawn to these titles and other like event planning that involve dealing with people.
The reasons for the popularity of this job title are very many and variable. Some people like women teachers because they are smart and caring. Others like the general organized nature of people within this profession. Whatever it is, there is no denying the fact that teachers have it good on online dating sites.
As a man
Any profession in healthcare
Here, doctor, surgeon, and paramedics take top spots as the most popular. They are commonly associated with a take-charge personality, high IQ and of course an impressive bank account.
Engineer or architect
These guys are really popular because of their smarts and artistic gifts. The fact that these guys make a decent amount doesn’t also hurt their chances. So if this is your line of work, then you have a lot to celebrate.
For the longest time now firefighters have been associated with extreme masculinity and attractiveness. It is no wonder that they get more action than most other guys with different job titles.
Not many people would turn down the opportunity to date a celebrity. Dating one opens up a lot of doors for you whether it is career opportunities or access to exclusive events.
It is particularly popular as a title if it includes the word ‘professional.’ It is a powerful title that carries the promise not only of financial stability but physical chemistry as most athletes are super-hot.
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Crossing the line
There is a very fine line between harmless fun and hurtful infidelity when it comes to maintaining online dating relationships. Given the relatively new nature of these platforms, many people are still unclear on whether it’s ok to maintain active profiles while in committed relationships.
Maybe you are currently in a similar situation where you still have your online dating account despite being in a serious partnership. You might be asking yourself whether you should shut it down and focus on your real-life relationship. After all, what harm is there in popping in every once in a while to see who you’ve matched with for an ego boost? The answer is a lot – a whole lot of harm. Here is a little more on why people do it and why it is not exactly the best idea.
Why do people even do it?
So why do people do it? What would make you want to have that cake and still eat it? The reasons vary from person to person. Maybe you like the attention. It could be that you get more from multiple flirty interactions that you do form your committed partner. It all depends on who you are and what you want. However, there are a few reasons that pretty much cut across the boat for most people who choose to walk both paths. Here is why they do it.
Sometimes you want to know what is out there. The environment around you has probably become somewhat monotonous and too familiar. Maintaining an active online presence means that you get to see what is available without necessarily having to act on it.
You are at home all alone and bored, and you choose to set up an account and get swiping just to pass the time. A lot of these situations start out this innocently and blow up into major scandals especially if your partner or even online flirt companions find out.
You may also be doing it just for fun. There is no denying the thrill that finding a match online gives you. It is, therefore, no wonder that so many people keep coming back for that ego boost and adrenaline high that the whole experience provides.
Why you shouldn’t have your cake and eat it too
1. It flares up insecurity
If your partner is insecure about herself or your depth of affection, then this would be like pouring gas onto a raging fire. It makes them feel like they are not enough which is something you never want someone you love to feel.
2. It could destroy hard-earned trust
Some partners react by getting angry and losing trust in you. It could take a long time to build bridges and get back to where you were. That is why it is not worth it.
3. It makes you discontent
Knowing that there is something seemingly better out there makes you less appreciative of what you have. Unfortunately, most people learn too late that what they already had was pretty awesome.
4. It shows a lack of complete commitment
If you are still out and about chatting up sexy singles then you, my friend, are not ready to settle down. Do yourself and your partner a favor and end things. That way you get to figure out what you want without having to drag some poor and innocent soul into your emotional shenanigans.
5. There is more temptation than you can probably handle
You might think that you are the strongest and most self-controlled person on the planet but trust me you are a match for the internet. Somehow these forbidden fruits have a way of making people in the relationship feel the need to cheat. It will be fun at the moment, but reality will come to bite you in the bum soon after.
There is no denying the fact that maintaining an active online dating website while in a relationship is never a good idea. It is pretty much setting up your relationship to failure by introducing toxic dynamics like insecurity and mistrust.
So when you find someone and you are ready to get serious then do them a favor and deactivate all your online dating profiles. It shows that you are ready to focus and put in serious effort to make things work which will leave you with a happy and healthy relationship.
The post Is Flirting on Online Dating Sites Cheating When You’re in a Relationship? appeared first on Meet The Right Man... or Woman.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Everyone is into online dating these days, and it isn’t so hard to see why with all the happy endings. However, these platforms hold more than just promises of eternal love. They are chock full of unfortunate realities that you need to prepare yourself for. That way nothing, good or bad, will surprise you while on your journey to find love on the internet.
Below are nine bitter truths about online dating
It doesn’t always work out
You will meet a lot of interesting characters while online dating. You will like a lot of them. You will fall in love with some of them. However, the truth is that not all of the relationships that you choose to invest in will work out. That doesn’t mean that you have failed at life or that you are destined to be alone forever. It just means that you haven’t met the right one yet and there is still some hope.
There are plenty of ghost profiles
Many people create and abandon online dating profiles. You might be unfortunate enough to fall for what you see on one of these profiles only to find out that the person is no longer online. That happens quite a lot. However, with the many other love interests, you will be pursuing you are unlikely to notice.
There are plenty of creepy people
The online dating community is full of unusual characters. We don’t mean the quirky and lovable weirdoes with unconventional interests. We are talking about real creepy people whose intentions on these platforms may not always be the best. They include perverts, stalkers, and even scammers.
Not all is always as it seems
That applies mainly to the dating profiles you get to see. You might think someone is perfect based on their photos and personal description. They are drop dead gorgeous and have pretty cool interests. However, it is important to remember that this is just the tip of the iceberg. Before you go falling head over heels, take your time to get to know the person and find out what more they have to offer.
It promotes superficial attitudes
Online dating brings out the worst in you in that it promotes shallowness. After all, isn’t it just a tad bit superficial to choose to talk to someone based entirely on looks? However, this is not the worst thing as even with offline dating physical attraction plays a very important role in you determining who to engage.
Not everyone you’ll like will like you
Be ready for rejection because it is inevitable in online dating. You might end up liking someone only to find out they want nothing to do with you. The most important thing is to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. It just isn’t a good match.
Old dating rules are just weightless suggestions
Remember the gender roles and exclusivity rules with traditional dating setups? Online dating completely disregards them. The only faithfully followed rule is to follow your heart.
It’s a liar-liar-pants-on-fire world out there
You need to have your bullshit radar turned on when venturing into online dating as there are many liars out there. People will lie about everything from their identities to the reasons their past relationship ended.
Therefore, do not be too quick to trust anyone based simply on what they tell you.
Not all singles are actually single
Unfortunately, not everyone signed up for online dating is actually single. You might find yourself falling for someone who is married in real life. It is not very common, but it is not entirely unheard of. One of the best ways to figure out that someone is trying to fool you is by keeping an eye out for suspicious behavior and red flags. It is also important to move the date offline and when the time is right to meet friends and family. If you are feeling extra paranoid and you have invested a lot emotionally, there is nothing wrong with going all psycho and hiring a PI to confirm you are the only one in his/her life.
These nine are just a few of the many bitter truths that you need to brace yourself for with online dating. The good news is that despite all these pitfalls love thrives. So do not think that a few catfish profiles and pathological liars are all that the world has to offer. Be extra careful who you trust, and you should be just fine.
Friday, September 21, 2018
Don’t be blinded by new love
You have just found someone that you think is the one. Before you go all in, please take a moment to rub those hearts off your eyes and see them for who they truly are. If you took your time getting to know them, then there might not be much to put you off your new-found romance. However, there is a good chance you might find a thing or two that show it is not going to work. Here are eight red flags that you need to always keep an eye out for when dating someone new. That way, you do not have to worry about any nasty surprises down the line.
Red flags you can’t afford to ignore
1. Lack of respect for your boundaries
Having boundaries is an important part of life. It could be anything from sexual limits to personal space. What is even more important is ensuring that the people we let into our lives not only understand but also respect them. If your new beau is having trouble with this, then you might want to cut them loose.
2. The ‘you owe me’ complex
Entitlement is one of the most annoying personality traits a human being can have. If you identify this in your new partner, then you should consider finding yourself an exit strategy. However, this is one of the few red flags that you can work on as a couple. All you have to do is be willing to open up about how annoying their behavior is. The best part is that the entitlement is often subconscious and once the person is made aware they can dial it down a notch.
3. They suck at communication
If it is easier to get tears from a rock than it is to get your new lover to open up, then you are in for the storm of your life. Healthy relationships work because of a foundation of consistent and open communication. It is, therefore, something you cannot afford to ignore.
It is not about how often they talk to you. It is about whether or not your partner is willing to open up and let you in on what they think or feel. If you have to fight and beg for this basic relationship need then pack your bags and hit the road, Jack.
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4. Lies, lies and more lies
It is early in the relationship, and you have already caught them in more than one lie. You can bet your bottom dollar that it is only going to get worse. Lying is one of those non-negotiable red flags that once identified should have you running for your life.
5. A questionable history they aren’t open about
We all have a past and baggage from it. However, someone who isn’t willing to talk about their demons is someone who hasn’t dealt with them. That will cause major issues in your relationship in the future and is, therefore, something you cannot afford to sweep under the rug.
6. Constant clashes with friends and family
It is important for a relationship to stand on its own and independent of public opinion. However, there are times where it is better to listen to your loved ones than to your heart. If the arguments they make against the relationship seem valid and unbiased, then you might want to listen.
7. A self-centered mentality
It is always about them, their life, their day and their feelings. If this is the story of your current relationship, then do not expect it to change as you continue dating. A selfish person will always be a selfish person so the only solution if this bothers you, is to leave.
8. A dismissive attitude
Do you feel like you are constantly being belittled and dismissed by your new significant other? It is a sign that they do not respect you or your opinions. It is a major red flag that will leave you the constant underdog in the relationship.
These eight red flags are vital to consider as they are often indicators of hard times to come ahead. More often than not, identifying even one of them should be enough of a sign that you need to leave while you still can. However, it is entirely up to you to decide exactly what you want to do and where you want the relationship to head. Just make sure that you make a decision that you are ready to live with.
The post 8 Red Flags To Look Out For When Dating Someone New appeared first on Meet The Right Man... or Woman.